remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just cropdusted the office
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
