i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
