i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
