If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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