it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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