I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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