I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
