I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
even my farts smell like vagina
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i think my cat just said my name.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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