There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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