I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
