Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
