I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
