your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i barfeds in our rink
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you inspire me to be a worse person
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
