"it" just moved
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
