Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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