Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
