you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
