We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
