Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
