If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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