I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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