if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
