Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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