Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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