currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
