Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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