Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm bleeding and have questions
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
