You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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