i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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