Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
