My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
