I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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