am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
