he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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