He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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