Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
