everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
