I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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