I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
