He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
