I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
