a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
