Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
