exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
