Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
