Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
