Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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