my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
