Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
