Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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