I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
