My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
